Path of my Life

I am currently studying the Parashah „Emor.“

Two sources have particularly caught my attention. In the Midrash (Pirke deRabbi Elizer), there is a reference to the three pilgrimage festivals that are central to the Parashah „Emor“ corresponding to the three regalim (patriarchs). Abraham is associated with Passover, Isaac with Shavuot, and Jacob with Sukkot.

In the Hasidic commentary „Sfat Emet,“ the three festivals correlate with the three qualities that are required of us daily in our service to God: namely, „with all your heart, all your soul, and all your ability“ (Deuteronomy 6:5).

At this point, I would like to cite Shim’on haZaddik and Shim’on Ben Gamli’el. They state that the world rests on three things:

On learning, on work, and on charity.

The world rests on three things:

Truth, justice, and peace.

A Mishnah of Sayings of the Fathers states that the world rests on three regalim (foundations, legs): service to God, Torah, and charity.

When these statements are linked, the following picture emerges:

Abraham served God with his whole heart, which is expressed in his service to God („Avodah“) and at Passover; Isaac with his whole soul, with Torah, at Shavuot; and Jacob with Gemilut Chesed, at Sukkot.

All three are interconnected and influence one another. Therefore, Abraham is my great role model, Isaac is the person I see myself reflected in, and Jacob is the person to whom I owe my allegiance.

Jacob-Israel is the patriarch of all the tribes that make up Israel, and he is also the one who, on his deathbed, uttered and passed on the Shema Yisrael as a reminder and command to his sons.

Now the time of Lag b’Omer is near, and we continue counting down the days until Shavuot, which will then be celebrated as Matan Torah, the Receiving of the Torah.

For me, all of this is a very personal experience and not simply an important event.

That is precisely why I walk the path of my life with our Torah, and I don’t forget that next year I will again celebrate my birthday on the eve of the Seder (the 13th of Nissan), and if God wills, then even with friends in a synagogue, and I will also visit a mikveh.

Shavua Tov

WHY OH WHY DID THE HOUSE OF JAKOB LEAVE DINAH’S ILLIGITIMATE DAUGHTER UNDER A THORN-BUSH?

There is a cruelty in the Torah that is too deliberate to be accidental.

The text does not soften it. It does not avert its eyes. It records, with surgical restraint, an act so stark that generations have stumbled over it and hurried past it, as if speed itself might absolve the reader.

וַתֵּצֵא בַּת־דִּינָה אֲשֶׁר יָלְדָה לְיַעֲקֹב לִרְאוֹת בִּבְנוֹת הָאָרֶץ
“And Dinah, daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.”
(Bereishit 34:1)

The verse opens gently, almost innocently. A young woman goes out to see. To look. To be seen. The Torah gives her curiosity without commentary, her movement without blame. Only afterward does the violence come. Only afterward does the rupture enter the story.

What happens next is well known. What happens after is not.

The tradition preserves a memory that the written text itself does not narrate directly: that Dinah conceived and bore a child from Shechem, and that this child was removed from her and placed beneath a thornbush. Not handed to a nurse. Not brought to safety. Placed beneath thorns.

This detail is not decorative. It is unbearable. And because it is unbearable, it must be necessary.

A thornbush is not a cradle. It is a boundary. It is a place where hands hesitate. Where approach costs blood. Where the living are kept at a distance.

The child is not named. The mother is not consulted. The Torah is silent — and that silence is not innocence. It is indictment.

The sages do not invent this scene lightly. They know exactly what they are doing by telling it this way. To place a newborn under thorns is to suspend a life between mercy and murder, between care and abandonment. It is not a choice made out of compassion. It is a choice made because every available option is saturated with blood.

What kind of house does this?

A house that cannot bear what has been born into it.

The family of Jacob is not merely a family. It is a proto-nation, still unformed, still unstable, still unable to hold contradiction without fracture. It has not yet learned how to metabolize violation without turning inward and devouring its own.

The brothers know something terrible has entered their camp. Not only violence from without, but disorder from within. A child born of rape is not merely a reminder of what happened to Dinah; it is a living contradiction of boundaries, lineage, inheritance, and identity. The world of strict lines has been breached, and the breach has a heartbeat.

Some of the brothers, the tradition hints, want the child dead.

Perhaps they want Dinah dead as well. Not out of cruelty alone, but out of terror. Terror of contagion. Terror of shame. Terror of what happens when the world no longer sorts cleanly into permitted and forbidden, inside and outside.

The thornbush is a compromise with murder.

Not kindness. Not justice. A deferral.
“We will not kill the child,” the act says.
“But we will not take responsibility for it either.”

The thorns keep hands away. The earth will decide. Heaven will decide. Fate will decide. Anything but us.

This is what it looks like when moral responsibility collapses under unprocessed horror.

And Dinah?

The Torah never tells us how Dinah feels. That silence is itself the loudest sound in the chapter.
She is not consulted when she is violated.
She is not consulted when her brothers slaughter a city.
She is not consulted when her child is removed from her arms.
Her body is the battlefield. Her interior life is erased.
And yet the tradition refuses to let her disappear.

It remembers that the child survives.
It remembers that the child is later taken into Egypt, raised in the house of Potiphar, given a new name, and eventually married to Joseph. The abandoned child beneath the thorns becomes Asenath. The one cast out becomes the mother of tribes.

The thornbush does not kill her. But it marks her.

The sages understand something here that is almost too painful to articulate: abandonment is not neutral. Being “left to Heaven” is not an act of faith; it is often an act of fear masquerading as piety. The thorns protect the family from having to decide whether this life belongs among them.

And Shimon?

Shimon is the brother who cannot bear ambiguity. His rage is incandescent, immediate, unfiltered. He and Levi respond to Dinah’s violation with annihilation. Not punishment. Erasure.

The tradition repeatedly associates Shimon with excess gevurah, with judgment untempered by patience, with a fire that does not yet know how to wait.

It is not accidental that Shimon is later the one who is bound in Egypt, held back while the others move forward. It is not accidental that his descendants struggle with dispersion and marginality. Judgment that cannot be contained scatters itself.
And it is not accidental that Shimon’s tikkun is bound to Dinah.

The tradition remembers that Shimon marries Dinah.

This is not romance. It is repair.

The man who could only respond to violation with destruction is bound to the woman whose life was fractured by it. Not to erase what happened, but to remain with it. To live inside the wound rather than burn the world down to escape it.

Marriage here is not consolation. It is containment.

Shimon’s tikkun is not that he becomes gentle. It is that he becomes responsible.

To marry Dinah is to say: I will not solve this by killing. I will not solve this by deferring to Heaven. I will stay.

And Dinah?

To remain alive after violation, after abandonment, after silence, is itself a form of resistance. Her story does not end in the field or beneath the thorns. It threads forward, quietly, through generations that will inherit both the violence and the repair.

The thornbush is the Torah’s way of forcing the reader to look at what happens when holiness is not yet strong enough to hold brokenness. It is a mirror held up to every generation that has ever said, “This is too much. Let someone else decide.”

The first act of cruelty is not the thorns.
It is the refusal to claim what has been born.

The Torah records it because the Torah is not afraid of our worst evasions. It shows us the moment when a family standing at the edge of becoming a people almost loses its soul — not through hatred alone, but through moral exhaustion.

And then it shows us something harder.
That what is abandoned can still return.
That what is placed beneath thorns can still grow.
That judgment without containment destroys, but judgment that learns to stay can be repaired.

The child beneath the thornbush survives.
Not because the act was righteous.
But because the story is not finished.
And neither is the work.

~ YCM Gray